


Raining In Sendai

by keicros_caramel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Cheating, Confessions, Established Relationship, Guilt, Hurt Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Multiple Partners, One Shot, Pain, Past Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Rain, Regret, Relationship Advice, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25332160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keicros_caramel/pseuds/keicros_caramel
Summary: The crackhead cat-owl duo talks to Oikawa about his conflicting thoughts between Iwaizumi and Ushijima. Good friends support each other, but should never condone cheating.>> Obligatory Kuroo-Bokuto-Oikawa friendship/interaction, but with disappointed friends who will still look after you all the way.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Raining In Sendai

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of dying, just in case. Please read the tags and enjoy, luvluvs.

_“Hello.”_

_“Oh, it's you again.”_

_“...I love you.”_

_“I know.”_

And that's how it began. 

The older generations specifically categorized Gen Z as the people who failed the system of loving. With dating taken as a status symbol rather than something sacred they view it as, the world had blamed Gen Z as the generation that destroyed the concept as a whole. 

Whenever someone says something about how romance is dead, Oikawa felt like it was directed at him. No matter how much he denied it, he was one of the people that obliterated the concept to dust. He was one of the people who were to blame for its extinction. Oikawa Tooru is a _cheater._

The sounds of a lighter clicking lightly held him down to Earth before his thoughts drifted him away to outer space. On his right, a raven-haired man played with his lighter without ever letting it spark even once. To his left, a golden-eyed captain leaned on the lonely lamppost, holding up a large umbrella to shelter all three of them from the 8pm rain. 

“Are you going to talk about it or nah?” Kuroo asked, leaning his head onto his knees in boredom. “We heard the news from the Matsukawa guy.”

“Tch,” he scoffed, taking a mental note to confront Issei about spilling his secrets. “I just came here to tell you but it seemed like you know already. Time to go home!”

He pushed himself up from the bench and went to the general direction of the hotel, only for the other captain to grab his arm gently and push him back to sit down. 

“Bro, no way,” Bokuto said, sighing. “You're here to explain.”

“What's there to explain?” he laughed, looking down to the pitter-patter of raindrops on the lonely street. “I cheated, want me to justify that?”

“Yes!” Kuroo said, glancing at him. “That's what cheaters do, man. At least try and explain.”

“Are you my therapist now?” Oikawa said, only to buy himself time to dodge the topic. No criminal openly wants to talk about the ugly parts of murder, at least not sober. 

“I'm not licensed but I deal with crackheads just the same,” he replied, laughing gently as he patted him on the shoulder. “Just talk or else we'll be here all night.”

“Yeah, I can't hold this umbrella forever,” Bokuto agreed. 

As much as he regretted having Kuroo and Bokuto over to run away from it all, they already spent money on the train ticket and the hotel. He even went as far as to summon these two under the rain of all places. 

“Pretend we don't know, do it just like you planned.”

So he took a deep breath and started.

“I cheated on Iwa-chan with fucking Ushiwaka.”

“Oh?!” Bokuto gasped exaggeratedly. “Oh my _god,_ bro! Did you _hear_ that?”

“Oh _no_! _Why?!”_ Kuroo went along, just as sarcastically. He then looks at Oikawa, coaxing him to continue. The brunette grimaced at their obvious sarcasm but continues. 

“So, like, Ushiwaka had always been bugging me since middle school right?” he started, “And the first time we talked out of the court was two years ago during freshman year, and I really fucking hated him since.”

“Yeah, I know how that felt,” Bokuto sighed, chuckling. “Being the top three ace must have felt nice-“

“Bo, he's not talking about sport rivalry,” Kuroo said, before turning to Oikawa. “ _Right_?”

“No shit,” Oikawa said, combing his fingers through his hair. “He kept bugging me to go to his damn school and be his setter. It didn't just bug me but also my team-“

“Beeeeep!” Bokuto deadpanned, interrupting him. A large hand suddenly rested onto his head; it wasn't a smack, but not a pat either. “Let's fast forward. We’re not in the mood to hear about the things we already know.”

_Oh my god, Issei, how much have you spouted to those morons?!_

“Fine! Whatever.” Oikawa slapped the hand away and rolled his eyes. “We had a lot of practice matches over the years, and he kept bugging me everywhere! He just stands there and stares. When Iwa-chan and I became a thing, it was the first thing we fought about.”

“How long were you two together?”

“I asked him out on freshman year.”

“The hell?” Bokuto inhaled sharply, taking in the information. “Three years only to be cheated on?”

“Shut up.”

“Bold of you to ask him out and be the cheater, too.”

“You also shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah, just continue. My ass starts to hurt sitting here.” Kuroo rubbed his backside.

“So, hm. We just banter a lot to the point I'm not even startled anymore. He's just... _there_ , everytime,” he said, “then one day, he confessed to me out of the blue.”

“What did you say? When is this?”

“I kind of known all along,” he said, dodging the other question. “Nobody is dedicated to someone like he does to me and isn't in love.”

The words themselves left a bitter taste on his tongue. As he continued on the more specific parts of certain dates, certain fights, certain epiphanies, the more he realized he cannot escape one part of what he had done. The three fell silent against the rain, with Kuroo narrowing his eyes against the pavement as the gears started to turn in his head. 

Oikawa had a lot of friends, but it's only these two that knew how it felt. He was there to slap some sense to Kuroo just a few months ago, who admitted on hooking up with a Karasuno blocker whilst trying to court Kenma. Bokuto also had his fair share of getting into situations that involved cheating, though the allegations were nothing but pure misunderstandings on their part. The one time Oikawa was there for Bokuto, he was the one being called a side hoe. There's no way he's attracted to any of these two idiots, as they stretched on the quality of having friends who understood what it felt to be the bad guy in someone's narrative.

This time, however, he was most definitely fucked. Because at least Kuroo was technically single at the time and Bokuto didn't even try to cheat. In comparison, he _most definitely_ wasn't single and he _most definitely_ tried to cheat. 

“Do you love Iwaizumi?” Kuroo asked. 

“More than anything.”

“Then _why_ the fuck?”

“Maybe because Ushijima doesn't hit me.”

“Wait, what?” Bokuto and Kuroo paused, looking at each other as their braincells synced in understanding. “Does Iwaizumi hurt you? What the...?”

He just realized the implication of his answer. He quickly straightened up and shook his head, waving his hands around. It did nothing but add to the growing expressions of concern on their faces. 

“No, it's not like that! Iwa-chan's not a bad person!” he exclaimed, “I meant sex! God damn.”

He blew it. 

Kuroo groaned at the answer, while Bokuto only breathed sharply as he twirled the umbrella when his arms start to strain on the weight. Shame started to fill his body from the soles of his feet up to the top of his head, more than ever since the day he woke up on a bed that smells too much of Ushijima and too little of Iwaizumi. 

“So, sex,” Kuroo hummed, “Were you drunk?”

“Tipsy.”

Kuroo was massaging his temples now. 

“How many times?”

Oikawa cussed out the questions in his head. When he kept everything to himself, he felt like he can still go carry on with his life as per normal. However, the more he was forced to state it out loud, the more he wished to fall off a bridge somewhere and go to hell. 

“It's impossible to tell.”

“You've seriously lost count?” Bokuto was the first to react. He dragged his free hand all over his face in concern, looking down at him both in disapppointment and sympathy. “If I did that to Akaashi, I'd tell him after the first time then throw myself off the Tokyo Tower. Not like _I_ would ever.”

“You two aren't official, you haven't confessed yet,” Kuroo commented, “It's not the same as Oikawa's, but I get the point.”

“No need to rub that on my face, bro!”

“So, okay. Several times right?” Kuroo turned back to Oikawa, who was staring at the raindrops fall like it was a staring contest he can't afford to lose. “You came back many times.”

“Yeah!” he spat, “I'm trash, I know.”

“Does the attraction extend beyond sex, though?”

“What do you mean?” Oikawa faced the Nekoma captain, who looked like he had something in mind. 

“Yeah, what do you mean?” supported Bokuto. 

“I mean, we have all seen Ushiwaka. He has the face, the body and _you know what_ ,” Kuroo casually stated, gesturing to his crotch with a tone like they're discussing today's weather. “He has the complete requirements to be anyone's fuckbuddy.”

“The hell, man! _Stop_...” Bokuto stuttered, groaning. “I can't face him ever again.”

“Oikawa,” Kuroo called, ignoring the Fukurodani captain's flustered mumbles of regret, “do you love Ushiwaka?”

A shiver crept up his spine at the straightforward question. It didn't take him a full minute before answering, getting to a solid reply he knew he would stand for. 

“No!”

“You sure?”

“Sheesh, no!” Oikawa clutched onto his sides, shivering. Kuroo raised a brow at him, which he met by taking a deep breath and looking back with the sincerest eyes and the clearest voice. “No, I don't.”

The Nekoma captain stared for a little longer before going back to play with the lighter; the clicks blending with the pitter-patter like a clock during the last subject of the day. It held him down once again, telling him that he was the vilest person on Earth. 

He meant that. He knew he doesn't love Ushijima. A heart can only understand one person at a time. 

He had only been in love twiceーthe first time in math class back in middle school and the second time at the same class and with the same person, except it was junior high. 

He had only said 'I love you' thrice, and meant it romantically only onceーit was at the break of dawn, when he woke up on his bed and saw Iwaizumi blinking up at him from his sleepover futon. 

That's why Ushijima had no place on the same lands Iwaizumi walked. 

“Something in my guts is telling me it wasn't just the sex.”

The other two looked at Bokuto, who was looking down the street absent mindedly. He switched the hands that held the umbrella, and Oikawa almost felt bad. 

“Why?” Kuroo asked. It was a question Bokuto would answer straightly and easily, like it was the single-digit math equation Iwaizumi answered the first time he fell in love. Both times had hit Oikawa harder than anyone else. 

“Oikawa doesn't fuck people and regret it.”

It was like a punch to his face, one which didn't sent pain to his skin and muscles but instead to his ego, or whatever it was called. 

“Bullseye, huh?” Kuroo smirked at Oikawa's reaction, who crumpled his face in guilt and agitation. 

There may have been more truth to Bokuto's statement than anything, and he knew it wasn't just the nights he spent with either men. It was already more than that in the beginning. Whereas Iwaizumi holds onto him so tight it left marks and bruises in the morning, Ushijima traces his skin like it was delicate porcelain. Whereas Iwaizumi kissed him hard like they were the only men on Earth, Ushijima cups his face and touches his lips softly like he'd break if he leaned too hard. 

Iwaizumi holds onto him like he wanted the world to know he was his, while Ushijima holds onto him to let him know he was there. 

And he _loved_ both ways the same. 

“Ushijima is not a bad person either.” That's all he could say. 

“Really?” Kuroo deadpanned, “You cheated on Iwaizumi, who isn't a bad person, with Ushijima, who _also_ isn't a bad person. Great logic there, genius.”

Oikawa looked up, narrowing his eyes at the two. He would question their friendship and how it ended up to be _them_ he would tell his problems about, but that was a thought reserved for literally any other day. For now... 

“It's just that, I know he's awkward and stuff but above all he's gentleー” He couldn't exaggerate that enough! “ーand...well, he acts like he wasn't loved before.”

“...”

“Wow, I didn't know you had empathy.”

He finally let his restrictions free and smacked both Bokuto and Kuroo at their back of their heads. 

“Stop making fun of me! I only let Iwa-chan do that!”

“Okay, okay!” Kuroo said, pushing his hands away from his hair. “So, you got what Iwaizumi didn't give you...from Ushiwaka?”

_He gave me the gentleness people craved for._

Instead of admitting it out loud, he simply nodded. He long accepted that no matter what his motivations and cravings were, no matter what kind of sex Iwaizumi or Ushijima gave him, it all amounted to the bottom line that he still cheated. 

“How...how did this even start?” Kuroo asked, “What in the fuck did Iwaizumi say? Was Ushijima aware? What in the world have you been doing in the last three days?!”

Ah, the spur of questions.

“He...he doesn’t know, I think!” 

“Kuroo, bro, slow down,” Bokuto hummed, surprising the other two with his odd calmness. He was known to be the epitome of high energy, but he radiated some other vibe by his current demeanor. “Let him answer one by one.”

When Oikawa met his serious golden eyes, he realized why. Bokuto was keen on justice. 

_Tch, he must be feeling high and mighty for being the only person in their trio to have never cheated._

He wished him the best at that. 

“The first time was just a date after he confessed to me,” he stated, recalling the day. “And that's also the first time I ended up on his bed...or the bathroom, same thing.”

He was meet with gazes varying from concern, disgust and judgment. 

“That damn date wasn't my idea, it was Makki's dare with 500 yen on the line!” he said before immediately coming back down, “but I suppose I'm still to blame for going along with it.”

“Yes, congratulations for awknowledging that. I was about to tell on you.”

“Oikawa, I know you already know this, but you're problematic,” Kuroo whispered. 

At that, he scoffed. 

“So were you,” he replied, “So was everyone who was literally fucking born, like, _ever.”_

“...Yeah.”

Around them, the rain started to drizzle from a cloudburst to a calm shower. Bokuto sighed in relief as he finally closed the umbrella and worked his sore shoulder and arm muscles. Oikawa noted to treat the two to breakfast or brunch the following morning. 

He's an asshole but he knows where credit is due. 

That also means he have to own up to his actions and reopen his cellphone and social media after 24 hours of drain. 

_Shit..._

“So?” Bokuto urged him on to answer.

Ushijima loved him, _that_ he knew. So did Iwaizumi. But there was a certain kind of pain he felt when Ushijima finally confessed to him, and in the hallway of that tournament gymnasium, he hated himself more than ever. 

“I only gave that favor to him because he's hopeless,” he finally said against the silence of the night. He can feel the two look at him and let him continue as they remained quiet. “I gave him a chance because if I didn't, nobody would.” 

_To know you are loved but to feel absolutely nothing..._

It was hard, both for him and for the other party. It hurts to know that he made someone's life miserable, even if it was the man who he wanted to see _lose for once_ in his life. 

“How bad does Ushiwaka look to you that you assume nobody else loves him?” At that, Kuroo stood and stretched his back. After a crack of his joints and a satisfied sigh that followed, he shoved his hands onto his pockets and gestured for Bokuto to take his seat. The other man took the offer gladly. 

“My error is that I gave Ushijima a chance when I wasn't supposed to!” he shouted, finally admitting it out loud. He felt his heart thump in his chest with the familiar pang of regret, and never did he feel more like a defendant who pleaded guilty in front of the Supreme Court Judge. 

“Yeah! _Exactly_! Why?!” Kuroo asked him loudly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Because I know what it feels like!” His voice cracked at the end, and he resisted the urge to crawl up into a ball and rot somewhere. The warmth of tears started to fill in the corners of his eyes, dripping down as the continuation of the rain that just stopped.

He felt a pair of hands pat his shoulders and his back as he finally let it all out. He rested his elbows on his knees and he hunched forward, hiding his pathetic expression using his hair against the dull lamppost light. 

It was true, and the underlying truth finally prevailed. He saw himself in the way Ushijima looked at him with longing since the first time they talked, he saw himself in the way he followed him everywhere wanting to feel his presence just a few meters nearby. 

Because before Iwaizumi became his world, he was nothing but his punching bag best friend. Before Iwaizumi got to his senses and awknowledged the boy who had been with him all his life, Oikawa was a pining ignored piece of trash who stood through all of Iwaizumi's past girlfriends all without saying a word. He watched and carried the pain, until it was finally reciprocated on the best day of his life as of yet. Iwaizumi had apologized a hundred times for the hell he subconsciously put Oikawa through, and Oikawa forgive him a hundred _and twice_ more. 

But the trauma still remained. That's where Ushijima came in the picture. Oikawa found solace, compromise and every single thing he wished Iwaizumi would give him before and selfishly drained it from Ushijima, who in turn was willing to give him whatever he needed, whenever he wanted. 

And when Ushijima let himself be used, it crushed his soul just the same it was mended yet again. In one moment, it even felt like he was staring at himself when he pinned Ushijima on the bed—desperate for any illusion of love that he was willing to stoop so low just for the fleeting dream. In turn, Ushijima was the punching bag best friend he ignored.

He sobbed as the two other captains held him close with soothing yet awkward pats and shushes. It was the first time he cried in front of these two, he just realized. 

He looked back up, wiping his face on the sleeve of his polyester sweater. He sniffed and smiled against his broken gaze, smiling at the pathetic attempt to regain his senses. Yet the tears still came, but at least he can breathe. 

“I did it with him because I've been there,” he rephrased, this time feeling the words roll around his tongue before he let them out. The two captains only nodded, leaning sidewards to rest on his shoulders from both sides. Their hair tickled his neck, but it was the physical contact he was depriving himself of for days. 

Their hands kept brushing his tense shoulders until he could relax and as he tried, he relished on the comfort he knew a cheater doesn't deserve. He hiccuped a few times, brushed his tears away a couple more, and he repeated it again. 

“...because I've _been_ there.”

“So did we,” they answered. Oikawa could only cry more. 

Because if romance is dead, then there's no one to blame. They were just teenagers who were afraid of getting called out, but with that perspective, whose fault was it really? The hopeless romantics? The cheaters? 

The answer is none, because there are cheaters who used to be hopeless. He learned to never organize things on just black and white, because there will always be that one muddy gray combination of the extremes that will mess the entire order. He laughed at himself, for being the muddy gray disgrace. 

“Are there any movies that go on the perspective of the cheater?” he asked, patting the two gently off his shoulders and patting his face dry. He chuckled dryly. “Because I need validation right now.”

It's only an expression, he knew. Having someone to talk to without immediately judging him helped his sanity and stability already enough. 

“You're an asshole right now, Oikawa, and that's coming from me.” Kuroo laughed, rolling his eyes. The spite was contradicted by a soft last pat on his back before the other man stood again. 

“Are wishes for cheaters too?” he asked, resting his elbows on the arm rest and looking up at the sky. The rainclouds blocked the stars he was hoping to see, but with the umbrella gone, he can go and pretend the lamppost was the sun.

Bokuto looked at him and shrugged. “They are? Maybe?”

Oikawa blinked at the dull yellow light, the light refracting vertically with the tear droplets resting at the tips of his eyelashes. In a hushed voice, he mumbled. 

“I kind of want to die—Ow!” He was met with a flick on the forehead, making him look back down and glare at the other captain. 

“No, not like that. Shut up.”

“Ow? That hurts? 'fuck was that for?” he exclaimed, “I was trying to be dramatic!”

He turned to Kuroo for backup, only to be looked at with pity on his eyes. He held his breath.

“Oikawa, look, it’s not our place to get mad at you for cheating,” Kuroo said, “Especially me. But I really am disappointed. You know what we think about infidelity, yes?” 

“...Yeah,” Bokuto supported. “I hate these kinds of stuff. Just...get your shit together, man.” 

He opens his mouth only to shut it closed at a lack of words to say. Kuroo ignores this, looking him straight on the eyes and snapping in front of him, grabbing his attention. 

“You have to decide something, right here, _tonight_. We'll be here all the way.” His tone left no place for negotiation. 

“Yeah, yeah!” Bokuto agreed, “I do suggest you decide quickly though, because Akaashi’s gonna call me early in the morning.” 

Oikawa rolled his eyes before he took in the post-rain breeze. 

“I really hate the two of you.”

“Yeah, sure.” He was glad the two knew he didn't mean it. 

With Kuroo's statement, it also left little to no negotiations of his inner monologue. There's only one right thing to do, and the least he could do after a series of mistakes and pick up the mop and clean the mess himself. 

“I'll _tell_ Iwa-chan, though he probably already knew,” he planned, more to convince himself than relay the message to the other two. “And I'll leave Ushijima alone.”

“...That's it?”

“...And I'll treat you two to brunch?” he supplied hopefully, remembering his mental note from earlier. 

“Yes!” Bokuto punched the air, only to be met with a smack on the face. 

“No! But yes, if you want to include that then sure no problem!” Kuroo smirked. “But no, anything else?”

“I can't think, just say it.” He sniffed, frowning at the man. 

“Maybe you should tell Ushijima everything?”

“ _What.._.”

“Like, just don't leave the man clueless, okay? I suggest you have Iwaizumi at the same room or at least nearby when you talk to the guy,” Kuroo said. “That is, assuming he won't break up with you.”

“You little motherfucking piece of shit.” He spoke before he could think. “I really hate you.”

“Friends don't sugarcoat shit about these things, bro,” he said. 

And Oikawa was grateful for that. 

As the night grew deeper and their spines sore from sitting, they disappeared back inside the hotel lobby. He had enough decency to walk them up to their rooms, and they stood in the stark white elevator in silence. 

When the elevator reached their floor, neither of them moved at the start. Bokuto kept his hands at the back of his neck, while Kuroo kept his at his pockets. If it wasn't for the doors starting to close back, then Kuroo wouldn't reach and placed a hand flat at the way. They stepped out, but looked back at him for the last time that night. 

“Doesn't it bother you,” he asked just as Kuroo pressed the down button from outside, “that I do stupid shit like that?”

Kuroo and Bokuto met eyes before chuckling. 

“Look who you're talking to, man.”

He smiled, this time genuine with peace. The doors closed between them, breaking their gazes, and he pressed the button on the way down. As he stared at the steel doors and kept his ears on the elevator chimes, he relished on the peace he held. Tomorrow, he will tell Iwaizumi and accept whatever Iwaizumi wanted to do with him. It will hurt, more for the oblivious man, but it wouldn't be his position to decide what hurts more. 

He was glad Kuroo and Bokuto weren't bothered. Really, does anybody feel good about their friends?

 _He will do it tomorrow,_ he told himself. _Tonight, he will take it easy._

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Cheating cannot be justified. Let’s say there are people in the world who learned it the hard way.


End file.
